This post might get long so I will apologize in advance.
Yesterday my cousin’s FB status said something about being “uninvited.” I figured there was a story behind this so I asked. She explained she had a “friend” that was causing some drama about her upcoming wedding. This made me think of a good friend I used to have. S was probably one of my best friends for several years while I was in Austin.
Our friendship started when she hired me to work for her. Shortly after I began working for her I found out she had MS. Most days she was good but as the months went on her condition seemed to worsen. I always thought she had a great life, despite her illness. She had a wonderful husband and 3 great kids. Her husband always seemed very supportive of her and took care of her. For a while things were really bad and she was forced to work from home. During this time she was re-diagnosed with something different and was given a 10 year life expectancy. I was upset to hear my friend could die within the next 10 years. During this time frame a lot happened. I would get late night phone calls from her or her husband wanting me to talk to her to calm her down. After a few late night calls I was forced to turn my cell off before I went to bed. While I wanted to help, being woken up in the middle of the night on a regular basis was not something I could handle.
I would go months sometimes without hearing from her. But when I did hear from her she would have the latest hospital story to tell me. She was in and out of the hospital alot. During this time, I had other things going on so I don’t know all the details. I know that somewhere along the way she lost her job since she was no longer able to work. The new diagnosis disappeared and numerous other things happened.
I was shocked to get a call from her one day before a birthday party for a friend, with S telling me her husband had left her. WHAT?!?!?! They seemed to be the perfect couple, at least in my eyes. To this day I have no idea what really happened. There were accusations of drug usage on his part and other incidents that lead to her being arrested (so she said). There was a supposed car wreck that her and the kids were in. So many things it’s hard to remember really. While I had always believed in my friend I began to start to question different things.
One day she called me and asked if I still had some left over pain killers. I asked how many she needed, thinking it would be one or two only to have her ask for 18. Ummm, I didn’t have that many to start with and even though I still had nearly a full bottle I told her I’d thrown them away. That was my first hint something else could be going on.
Again, although I considered her a good friend we never talked daily. I never truly knew what was going on in her life. Normally it was to talk about the latest crisis that had happened. So when I moved to NC, I finally realized it was time to move on. Her drama was all consuming and while I loved her I couldn’t deal with the drama so I began to pull back. At that point she started to friend a girl neither of us had liked in the past. Her excuse was “getting info” but it didn’t seem that way. Not that I have any say in who she can be friends with but if she was only fishing for info she should have stopped talking to her when I said it upset me. That was really the final straw and we haven’t talked since.
Being the nosey person I am I began to dig around a little and see if I could finally find out what was really going on with her. I stumbled across a blog written by her little sister a few months before talking about her sister’s “drug additcion” and the pain it had caused the family. Finally my concerns were verified. And while I feel bad we are no longer friends I still find myself wondering how she is doing and if she is okay.
This morning I searched for her on FB and nothing came up. So of course I googled her and found she is now re-married. I wish her luck and I hope for the sake of her new husband and kids she has worked through everything.