This is my soapbox post.  If  I happen to offend anyone I am sorry but this is my rant and how I feel.

M has several online forums that he regularly keeps up with.  One of these forums he has shared with me so I read it daily but mainly look at picture posts or things of that nature.  Naturally I am NOT allowed to post anything since it is his account.  But I can look 🙂

Yesterday M posted on the forum asking if anyone had planned a destination wedding, where they went and what they though.  For the most part the people who has chosen this option responded with where and and various other details.  There were a few people who posted saying that it was “dick/douche” move on our part.  That basically “it is a way to make sure you only get get the people you want.”  Of course M and I both talked about this option before we became engaged, discussed that fact that many people, friends and family, may not be able to come.  We both agreed that we would be thankful for the people who were able to come but would understand those that couldn’t.  Since ALL of M’s family, minus his parents and brother, are  located in or around London we knew that his family may not be able to come regardless of locale.  But as we began telling people our idea, everyone seems more then happy we have chosen this idea.

So here’s my rant.  Why is it that other people feel so inclined to make YOUR wedding about them?  M and I are paying for OUR wedding.  We are paying and planning for this to be OUR day.  Sound selfish?  You bet your ass it is.  I am marrying him and he is marrying me.  WE are NOT marrying our friends or family.  And while we would love for everyone we invite to come we understand that is not possible.  But who are you to judge MY/OUR special day and tell us it’s a douche thing to do?  Who are you to say that we are being selfish because you don’t get to chose the locale?  Who is really being selfish and douchey here?  Yes this option might cut down on our invite list but if the wedding were in Raleigh the list would be the same.

I don’t even think I have touched the surface of the anger I felt yesterday after reading one particular persons posts regarding this issue.  I was livid!  And I am still getting worked up as I type this.  It also annoys me to no end to continually hear people who think they are “entitled” to bring an uninvited guest, a child – or think their children should be allowed to come. (That is a completely different rant that I won’t get into.)  When did saying “I do” become about the guests?  If you are invited to our wedding (or any wedding) you should feel honored that YOU MADE the list.  Don’t give me grief that I am not catering to YOUR needs because last time I checked, this is OUR day!  So deal with it!

**Rant over!  Again, sorry if this offends but well it’s my blog and my feelings 🙂 **

M and I had a nice long weekend at the beach.  It was a family gathering of sorts.  M’s cousin Kim has been trekking around the world for about 5 months and the last stop on her journey landed her at M’s parents house for the weekend before heading back to London.  M’s grandmother is also in town from London and his brother Pat drove up from Atlanta. 

Friday morning M’s mom Jill made an engagement cake for us.  She even raided the local gas station so she could put ring pops on our cake :)  The guys had an afternoon tee time so the girls decided to head to the beach once the clouds cleared.  Kim and I found a nice spot on the beach to set up our chairs while M’s mom and grandmother set up shop at the club house.  After a few hours of basking in the sun Kim and I headed back the club house to have a piece of cake.  Then we all headed back to the house to get ready for dinner.  A couple that M and I know from Raleigh were in town for the weekend so they stopped by the house to have dinner with us.

Saturday M and I had plans to go to the beach most of the day before heading to dinner.  Unfortunately the weather had other plans.  As we all sat around waiting for the sun to come out the day slowly passed away and there was no beach trip.  M’s parents made reservations for dinner Saturday night at Sea Blue in N. Myrtle Beach.  We arrived to find a complimentary bottle of champagne waiting to toast us.  :)  After a delicious dinner we all piled back in the car and headed home.

Sunday was pretty uneventful.  We woke up to more clouds.  So after lunch M and I packed the car and headed home.  We got home only to find someone had managed to knock over my ONLY living plant!  Of course we knew who had done it, Julio!  After cleaning up the reminder of the dirt we were finally home.

So M and I are headed to the beach in a couple of hours.  I feel like there are so many things I want to write about but that could just be the lack of focus and excitable energy coursing through my veins.

M’s parents live at the beach so really we can go whenever but this trip should be fun.  M’s grandmother and cousin from London are both at the house.  His brother is driving up from Atl tonight and a  couple from Raleigh will also be in town.  M, his dad and brother are set to hit the links tomorrow afternoon.  I fully intend to sit my pale self beside the pool and lounge.  Or maybe shopping, who knows.  Then we are going to have a cookout.   Saturday should be filled with nothing more then sand and beer.  I am looking forward to doing nothing more then laying on a beach drinking a nice frothy beverage or two or three.  See I am way too excited to be writing this.  But let’s face it, it beats doing the work I am trying to put off.  Hence I am blogging at work.  I’ve also managed to play around in paint for some save the date work oh and downloaded a few prints to help with that.

YAY Beach!!!!!!  T-minus 3 and a half hours……

As each day draws to an end we get another day closer to our wedding.  With no location picked or date set in stone it makes tasks such as invitations or save the dates nearly impossible.  But hey a girl can start looking right?

Well I have been looking and looking and looking.  I love the fact that M and I will wed on a white sandy beach someplace tropical but this does pose a few obstacles, like what you ask, color schemes for one.  I have no idea what our reception might be and have no illusions that I will have any real say it what colors are provided.  I mean we are doing this on a pretty tight and right now, invisible, budget.

I would like to keep things as cohesive as possible but I don’t really know where to begin.  My colors, hot pink with some teal thrown in for good measure?  M has made it pretty clear he really doesn’t care which is good but also leaves all of this to me.   How hard should it really be to coordinate invitations and save the date magnets?  Not as easy as you would think since I am trying to save on invitations so I can get save the date magnets.  :)  I knew I’d looked at too many invitations when I woke up this morning.  I dreamed I was personally writing each invitation to random people.  HA!

~Oh a side note, M and I have been engaged for one whole month today 🙂

Today I saw this status on Facebook and thought how true it is.

There are 4 things you cannot recover.  The stone, after it is thrown.  The word, after it is said.  The occasion, after it has past.  The time, after is it gone.

Insightful, maybe.  True definitely.

We all have those people in our lives that it seems like the sun never shines their way.  They either choose to look at the negative or let it hold them down.  Sometimes we support these people and try to encourage them to see the sun and other times we may choose to let them go.  I think the ones we let go or should let go are the ones that continue to push their misery on to us.  I know this is much easier said then done in some cases but when is enough enough?

As the drama continues, I am trying to avoid it, duck it, dodge it and get the hell out of its way.  However it seems like each week it just continues, the pot is stirred just a bit more.  I mean really, you can only beat a dead horse for so long.  So when things get to this point what do you do?  That really is the question because I have no freaking clue.  I don’t know what to do.  The sun is currently shining on my life in ways that make my heart smile but there seems to loom this one lonely cloud.  This one cloud that keeps threatening my sunshine.  I guess I could remove it, the metaphorical cloud, but by what means.  Emails straight to trash.  That seems to be the only real option I currently see.  And while this little cloud continues to annoy me and tries to interrupt my beautiful day, I can say that is only a minor annoyance.

I will continue to go about my day and welcome the warmth the sun brings.  With this I have found new respect for some and lost it for others.

Let the sunshine, it’s so much nicer that way 🙂

Today M and I took our very first engagement present and put it to good use, we opened a joint checking account.  Granted for now this will be used to help pay for our wedding expenses but it is a start.  We had many discussions regarding the fate of our individual accounts once we were married.  Originally M wanted to have his, mine and our accounts.  I was not really in favor of this option seeing as it hadn’t worked well for me the first time.

Over the weekend M decided to break out the Quicken and start adding all my financials in.  After several failed attempts to find my bank, logging into my account and trying again, he finally managed.  I would like to think that over the past few months he has realized that I am pretty financially responsible and this lead to his decision to have one joint account once we get married but I am pretty sure he actually realized what a pain it would be to have to keep up with 3 + bank accounts 🙂  In any case, I feel that if you are going to choose to spend the rest of your life with someone you should share.  Share it all including money.  Plus I think this shows commitment and trust to your partner.  I realize this could come back to bite me in the ass but love is trust and respect.  Both of which I have for M and apparently he has for me 🙂

M and I are both pretty slack with the mail which means we only check it once a week or days we know there should be a movie from Netflix.  I reminded M the other day that said movie should be in the mail.  Well you can only guess my surprise to walk in and find a multitude of cards lined up on the counter.  My first words to M were “I get to open cards!” to which he replied that his name was on them too.  Anyway the soon to be relatives across the pond are in full on excitement mode and flooded our house with various Happy Engagement cards.

I found this to be very touching.  I managed to meet everyone in M’s family, on both sides, during our trip to London last fall.  It is nice to see their excitement for us in card form inscribed with congratulatory wishes.  All of which are currently displayed on the counter.

As the excitement of becoming engaged has come and gone the reality of marriage is starting to set in.  The process of choosing a location, gathering a guest list, looking at invitations, and browsing dress sites has begun.  All of which are fun yet daunting tasks.

M and I have chosen to forgo a traditional bridal party as we feel those who can and do come will in essence be our “bridal” party.  Having done so, it feels harder to ask friends to help with various wedding related tasks.  This is where family comes in.  M’s parents have been “thrilled to bits” since the night we called them.  My parents are a bit of a different story.  Obviously there has been some tension in the family for several months.  However I feel I have been making a pretty conscious effort to keep everyone included.  With this said I feel I have been met with little to nothing in return.  A congrats the night we called, nothing from the email of the ring and today barely a word of wedding talk.

About a week or so ago my mom asked if they could come down to see my ring.  I hesitantly agreed only to hear from my dad the day before saying they wouldn’t be down.  I was fine with this until my mom once again suggested M and I come and spend Easter weekend with them.  Thankfully Julio is back on his antibiotics and a weekend trip was out.  I said they were welcome to come here.  She said that was fine and we’d meet for lunch.  Not much can be said for lunch as there was a brief glance at the ring, followed by “that’s nice” and that pretty much ended any other talk.  Disappointed, yes.  Shocked, no.   As I fight back the tears of disappointment I can’t decide if I’m more upset over what didn’t happen or the fact that it bothered me.

At least the excitement from M’s family makes me smile.